Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces
by othisluv
Summary: -"You have his eyes.”-Peyton;“Always” she looked at him expecting to hear ‘and forever.’-Haley;"We can go back, just pretend nothing ever happened.”-Lucas;-Pairings:Pathan ,Peyton/Cooper, Brucas, a not so happy Naley, Leyton. The possibilities are endless
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill...I know, another story...This idea popped into my head. One shot or longer depending on you, the readers! So let me know.

* * *

Smoke filled the air of the small bar on the edge of Tree Hill. It wasn't a popular hangout, but it had a few regulars. It was mostly middle-aged men avoiding their wives or the desperate forty year old woman looking to be loved. She didn't know what brought her to this place exactly. She couldn't be sure whether it was Lucas taking back his proposal, or if it was Nathan professing that he still loved her. Last week they had been mourning the loss of a Raven, and this week she was finding a way to deal with both the Scott men.

Exactly 24 hours ago, everything changed.

"_Peyton, are you here?" She could here her dark-haired friend enter the house she had taken residence in since Las Vegas._

_"Yeah, I'm in the kitchen." He walked in to find the woman baking cookies, peanut butter._

"_Mmm, how come you never made me cookies? Especially peanut butter, you know they are my favorite." He flashed her a grin that had been famous during his days as the top Raven._

"_Don't cry, you can have one, but you have to promise not to make fun of them if they are bad." She looked into his eyes to see if he agreed; however, she didn't expect what she saw. He approached her with a look on his face that she hadn't seen in years. It was one that both scared her and excited her. His lips were in distance and their eyes were locked in a trance. He took hers in his at the same moment Lucas walked through the front doors to hear commotion in the kitchen._

_  
Nathan was stopped as her hands pushed on his chest, caused their touch to break. "Nathan, what the hell was that?"_

_He had a fire in his eyes. "Peyton, Iloveyou." He blurted out in one swift breath. _

"_Nate, I love you too. But we are just friends, I mean, you are married to Haley." She stated nervously as she began pacing around the kitchen. "and you have Jamie. And you are going through so much right now. I know you are sad about Q. That's it. You just aren't thinking straight."_

_He caught her shoulders with his hands to steady her. He was losing his nerve the more she paced. "That's just it, I am thinking straight, for the first time in a while. I love Jamie, and even Haley, but she isn't you. Q's death made me realize that we don't always have to tomorrow, life is short. And I can't imagine my life without you. I don't know how I have for so long."_

"_Nathan, you can't mean that. Just go back to Haley and your son. Lucas will be home soon. We'll pretend this never happened." She took his hand and practically shoved him out of the kitchen door, resting her back on it as it closed. She hated herself, but she would always feel the connection with Nathan, and she hated denying him. If only he could have done that before Haley. _

_Lucas chose that moment to walk into the kitchen, the moment when her tears starting flowing. "What the hell was that Peyton?" He said it shaking from emotions, fear that his brother held his fiancé's heart._

"_Nothing." She said walking over to the oven to remove the cookies. "Damn it." She fanned the smoke and placed the burnt treats on the counter. _

"_Peyton, just tell me what that was about, that it didn't mean anything. And we can go back to our blissful engagement." He stared at her shivering body, knowing she couldn't answer him the way she wanted to._

_The silence proved him right. "It is not what you think, Nate is just a mess. He didn't mean it." She avoided eye contact with the man she pined for so long._

"_I knew it, you still love him don't you, after all of these years? I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't do anything, but if you still love him, I can't be with you. I need to go see Brooke anyway." She knew it was truth when he said it, but she still wanted to pretend it wasn't true. She was glad he was going to Brooke; it was better this way. She and Brooke had had several heart to hearts over the last week, and she hadn't offered any information about what really happened. Peyton only hoped that Brooke and Lucas could comfort each other, and she could get out of the lives of the people she ended up hurting._

She had downed nearly eight shots already, the alcohol burning with each and every flip of the wrist. She had only been there for half an hour, but she wanted to forget and the alcohol was the only solutions she could muster.

He too walked into the bar looking to forget. His first real relationship went down the drain, his career trashed, and he was in a town that brought back only bad memories. He wouldn't have been in Tree Hill had it not been for the fact that his family occupied the town. His sister and his nephew's family had made a home here, why couldn't he?

His life as a bachelor was getting old. So was he, as much as he hated to admit it. If he wanted children, he needed to fall in love soon, or at least find someone who wanted to love him. He was thrown off when he saw the woman in the corner table, a cigarette in her hand and a drink in the other. She was oddly familiar. As he got his drink he approached the table to quickly realize she was the same girl his nephew used to treat like shit.

"Mind if I join you?" His blue eyes sparkling with the dim lighting in the room. It was these eyes that reminded her of Nathan's. She had always thought the blue eyes were from the Scott family, but after truly looking at Cooper's eyes she could see that Nathan and Lucas eyes had never been the same, she had merely assumed they were. Was she really that oblivious to the one's she claimed to love. "Peyton?"

Returning from her thoughts, she replied. "If you tell the bartender to keep the shots coming." She readjusted her eyes to cigarette in her hand.

"So when did you take up smoking?"

"Tonight" her answer was short, and even though he didn't know her that well, the pain shone through her tone of voice.

"It has been quite a day; I could use a smoke myself." He said casually seating himself in the booth beside her. He reached for her hand, and she didn't protest as he grabbed the white stick and placed it in his lips.

The waitress brought them both a round of whiskey, and they proceeded to drown their emotions. Something about the woman across from him intrigued him. He could only believe it was the way her face never flinched at the brown liquid. "Professional drinker, eh?"

"I had a lot of practice in LA." She didn't want to look back at him. His eyes had caught her off guard earlier, and she refused to get lost in them again.

Three rounds later, silence still cluttered the air, but the two had found a comfortable silence. As they leaned against each for support, they laughed as Peyton's body jolted. Too far gone "I guess I shouldn't have had that last one." She said with her finger directly in front of his eyes. He knew she had had enough, and motioned for the bill. He helped her up, and she rested her forehead on his. "You have Nathan's eyes."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. So I am continuing. I am sorry, I can't stay away from Peyton and Nathan, so the undertones of them will last until the end, or maybe they will be the end. You never know. Thanks to leona and Leijona and xox-andrea-xox for your marvelous reviews. You guys are great. Also, thank to those of you who put it on alert. Now I am going to work on updating my other three stories. Enjoy.

* * *

She woke up to the sight of basketball trophies and framed newspaper articles. It was a sight she used to wake to often. She often awoke in the room as a young high school girl dating the star athlete. They would go to bed happy, they would fight, and she would move to the guest room in hopes of sleeping peacefully. She hadn't expected to see this room ever again. When Dan went to jail, Deb had gotten the house in the settlement.

"Hey, you're up." The man she had seen a few times growing up walked in with a glass of water and two aspirin for her. "Thought you might need these."

"Thanks."

"You were throwing 'em back pretty good last night. Want to talk about it?" He remembered her words when they were leaving the bar 'you have Nathan's eyes.' He thought for sure she and Nathan were over, so her words continued to tumble in his thoughts looking for a reason.

"Not really." She took the two white pills from his hand and chased them with water hoping they would take affect quickly. "My head is killing me."

He looked at the woman still lying on the bed. Her hair tousled from sleeping, and her body curled up; she was beautiful. "Well, I'll let you sleep if that will help." He said walking towards the door.

"Thanks." She closed her eyes in hopes of blocking the light, drifting off to sleep.

Cooper quietly walked down the stairs to find his sister in the kitchen. He was surprised to see her here. When he told her he was coming back to town, she had said she was living with Nathan and Haley, taking care of Jamie. He definitely didn't expect her to be here. "Deb." He walked to the aging blonde and hugged her tightly.

"Cooper." She hugged him back as if she hadn't seen him in years. "I've missed you so much. Now tell me everything. I want to know where you have been for the last 6 years." He left town when he was released from the hospital, Rachel had hurt him and this town only succeeded in reminding him of every little detail.

"Nothing to tell. What matters now is that I am home with my sister." She could see the glimmer of sadness in his voice. Not wanting to push him away again, she hugged him again. "I've missed you too, Deb, I've missed you too." His words trailed off.

"Oh my God look at the time, I have to get going, I am taking Jamie to the zoo today. I'll come back by tonight. I love you." She grabbed her back and walked down the steps of the front entrance turning at the bottom. "I really am glad your back and I know Nathan will be too." She walked toward her car, but halted when the black suburban drove up. "Speak of the devil" she grinned to her brother as the little boy got out of the back seat followed by Nathan coming from the driver's side.

"Nanny Deb, you were late, so Daddy decided to bring me himself." He looked around to notice the strange man emerging from the house. His eyes grew wider when he noticed who the man was. "Uncle Cooper!!" He ran to the man. "Daddy said you were a racecar driver. That is so cool!!"

Setting the boy down after a heartfelt embrace, he responded to the child even though the reminder was painful. "I used to be. It was really cool."

"Oh boy, I am so glad you here, but I have to go to the zoo. We are going to see lions….and …..tigers….and..." He thought for moments. "And BEARS!"

Cooper began to shake his knees and bite at his fingers. "OH my" He shouted, and the little boy laughed obviously knowing what movie it came from.

"Come on Jamie, let's go. You're uncle is silly." She fastened him into his seat and the two drove off. Cooper watched as they drove off going over his short conversation with the little boy thinking about how much he wanted a family.

"So the long lost uncle returns." Nathan approached the man and reached at his hand pulling there shoulders together in greeting. "Glad you're back man."

"Yeah." He attempted a smile. "It is good to see you again. You're son is awesome."

"That he is." He pushed passed the older man, and walked into the house he used to call home.

"What are you doing, Nate?" Cooper asked confused.

"I haven't seen my uncle in 6 six years. I am planning to hang with you, dude." He opened a bag of sun chips, and went to the living room to sit. "So Coop, what has been going on with you?"

Cooper sat on the edge of the chair. "I'm moving back to Tree Hill."

"That's great!" Nathan exclaimed. "I've missed ya! Lucas was never all that good at being one of the guys. And Skills is kind of dating my mom."

"Wait a minute, Skills, as in your old teammate Skills. AND DEB?"

"Yeah, man, I know, it's weird right? But after the last week, he needs someone to be there for him, and we all know mom was never happy. How could she have been?" He stated referring to the relationship she and her father shared.

"So how are Haley and Jamie doing?" He wanted to feel out if Nathan and Haley were still happy and together, this was the only way he knew how.

"They are good. Jamie is so smart, and he says some of the funniest things. It is great being a dad."

"Glad you are happy, Nate." He saw the empty smile on the face before him. Sure he loved being a dad, but the last week had made him question his life. Though Cooper could see the blank emotions spread, he didn't want to open up any wounds.

"Hey, there's a game on. LA vs. Houston. Up for watching?" Nathan had the remote already in his hand pressing down the red button.

"Sure, for a little while." He said as they settled onto the couch, Cooper stealing the bag of chips from his nephew.

"Cooper? Do you think you could drop me off back at the bar, so that I can get my car?" The voice grew louder with the footsteps, Nathan eyes growing wide with shock.

"Peyton?" he said barely audible.

"Nathan." She jumped as she rounded the corner.

She was still in the same clothes she had on last night when he went to go see her, and she looked rough, he could tell she had been drinking. Had he not been startled by the sound of her voice, she would have confirmed that for him with her question to Cooper.

"I am just going to go get some water, and then I will take you to get your car, Peyton." Cooper said as he removed himself from the thick atmosphere of the living room. He wasn't stupid.

"What are you doing here?"

"It doesn't matter." She whispered, hoping to sustain her composure. "Tell Cooper I'll be in the car." She walked out of the house, Nathan attempting to follow her.

"Peyton wait!" Getting stopped by Cooper in the kitchen. "Nathan, stop, man. Just let her go. I'll catch up with you later." He followed the blonde to his car and the two drove off.

* * *

"Brooke, please tell me what really happened? I want to be there for you."

"I thought you were too busy trying to get back in Peyton's pants. It is a habit with you."

"What the hell, Brooke? What happened to you? You can say you fell down the stairs all you want, but I'm not buying it." He held her shoulders softly beneath his palms.

"Yeah? Then why did you? It has been two weeks, and you never cared before." He could see the tears forming in her eyes. He knew she was broken and she needed fixing. He only hoped this time, he wouldn't let her down.

"Oh Brooke, come here." He wrapped his arms around her shaking body, as the sobs overtook her. They spent the rest of the morning on her couch, not speaking but embraced.

* * *

"Oh Nathan." Haley said sticking a bare leg out from behind the bedroom door. It wasn't often that she and Nathan were alone in the house without fear of their son walking in on them, and she fully planned on using this time on him.

Nathan, in the kitchen, was pouring himself a glass of orange juice. "What is it, Haley?" He didn't turn around to look at her, but she soon felt her arms grasp his chest from behind. Her slender fingers finding their ways to the buttons that confined him.

"I was thinking since Jamie's not here, that we could, you know?" She finished by pulling his shirt off his toned arms and trailing kisses down his back. He turned to find her lips on his, and pushed himself into the mood. He wanted the mother of his son to be the one, and he was going to try his damnedest to make his mind believe she was.

She loved her husband, especially when they were intimate, but she could notice the change in the way he touched her and the fact that he wouldn't look her in the eye. She was going to try her damnedest to make sure her husband only had eyes for her, even if something in the back of her mind was telling her otherwise.

* * *

"So today was fun. I almost forgot that my head was killing me." She half laughed as she opened the door to his Chevelle adding, "My fellow classic car lover." He was glad to see the day held so few awkward moments. It was probably because he never asked just what was going on with her and his nephew, but he hoped that maybe it was just him making her forget.

"It was good, even though you see beat my ass in go-karts." He grabbed the car door from her hand and gently shut it, while she leaned against his car, something he wouldn't let just anyone do. "I so let you win." He smirked, and once again his actions brought her thoughts back to the boy from her past. He noticed how the Chap Stick on her lips made them shine just the right amount, and the glimmer from her eyes made his heart pump just a little harder. He vowed to ignore the voice in his head that told him no, and he reached his lips to hers, then gently pulling away.

She didn't push away, and when he pulled back she was left looking into his eyes. 'Damn those eyes.' She thought before she reciprocated his actions.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. Also, just want to say again that end couple is up in the air. I know this chapter points to a Nathan/Peyton reunion, but don't count Cooper and Peyton out. There will be moments in this story for both of them.

* * *

Mick was in the studio when the slender woman walked up, her head spinning. Mick Wolf was a man who knew her mother, and more than he let on about her father. Peyton kept pushing the thought that this man was her father to the back of her mind. If he were, surely he would have told her so when she asked him the other night, but he didn't. He didn't say no.

"Hey, what are you doing here so early? Not that I'm complaining, I mean it is not everyday you get a legend in my recording studio." She grinned, still star struck, that this man was in her studio, and possibly her father.

"I had my guitar and I just couldn't stay away." He returned the small, and sat on the stool behind him.

"Well, don't stop because of little old me. Play." She motioned to him. He did as instructed while she stood leaning against the wall, her eyes closed, soaking in the thing that made her life somewhat normal. Music had always made her feel calm, it helped her think, and it made the world make sense. Today was no different. She had not stopped to truly think about two nights ago when Nathan decided to tell her he still wanted her.

Mick could see the anguish on the young woman's face and stopped playing. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." She paused and spoke again. "it's just that, sometimes it is hard taking the high road, even though I know it will hurt a lot less in the end."

He watched as she stared into space as she spoke. There were so many things he didn't know about her, but he could tell whatever was bothering her had happened recently, and more than likely it involved love. He could still recall the same expression on his face several times over Ellie. He wanted to tell her in that moment, but something made him hold back. Maybe he was scared because they took the easy way out; maybe he didn't want her to hate him. His fear is what caused him to reply. "Sometimes we just lack courage, avoiding the high road, or pretending it is not there. Whatever it is though, if you want to talk about it, I'll be around." He played with the plastic token he had carried with him for over year. It was proof that he could take the high road; he only hoped he could do it again.

"Thanks. Well, I'll let you play some more. I have a lot to do today. You're not leaving anytime soon, are you? I still want you to meet some of my friends."

He smiled, happy that she wanted him around. "I'll be here."

She walked out of the studio knowing she had a lot to do today. She didn't have a residence at the moment. She still had to get her stuff from Luke's and she wasn't sure if she could go back to Brooke's. The last two nights had been spent in a house she thought she was done with years ago. Cooper had been nice enough to let her stay with him at Deb's, but they both needed to find a place to stay, so they decided to apartment hunt together.

* * *

"Oh, hey Luke." She greeted her friend with her normal sincere smile. "How have you been?" She knew the last few weeks had been rough, and losing Quinton was difficult for all of them.

"I've been better."

"Yeah, me too." She gently touched his shoulder showing her sympathy, and then continued to gather the clothes.

"So how are you and Nathan?" He questioned.

"Good." Sure it was a generic answer, but what was she really going to tell her best friend. Would she tell him that she and her husband had given up looking each other in the eyes during sex? Maybe she could have just said 'We're good, he just decided to call me Peyton while we had sex. No biggie though, we're fine.' She could just come out with her problems. Nathan had fallen asleep afterwards, and she had lost the nerve to confront him about it, afraid of what it could mean. "So how are you and Peyton? Have you set a date?" She wanted to hear a date; maybe it would make what happened all a big joke or just a moment of nonsense.

"We broke up." This sentence didn't put her mind at ease, in fact, it only made her worst fear come true. She would never measure up to Peyton in Nathan's mind. She had felt this way since they first started dating. She thought when Luke came into the picture she could get over her fears, but it was beginning to appear as though that wasn't the case.

"What happened? Oh Luke I am so sorry." She went forward to hug him as much for her sake as for his. He of course couldn't tell her the real reason. "Guess she didn't like my book." He shrugged trying to lighten the mood he was setting.

"Luke…" she glanced at him seriously, expecting a real answer.

"It just doesn't always work out."

"Mama, we have to go to the party or we are going to be late." Jamie yelled from the foyer.

"I'm coming, baby. You can keep it to yourself for now, but I expect an answer tomorrow when I come over. Nathan should be home any minute if you want to hang around and wait for him."

* * *

Peyton walked into the building that her housed her best friends clothing line to fine the tall slender racks empty, the walls bare, and her friend sitting on the sofa in the center but not with tears in her eyes. "Brooke, what happened?"

She didn't have to turn her head to know that it was her best friend coming to see her. "Victoria wanted it, so it's hers."

Raising an eyebrow she sat next to the woman who had been friend for as long as she could remember. "What do you mean?"

"I signed away my shares of clothes over bros." She pursed her lips together as her dimples slightly appeared. "But hey Victoria is finally out of my life, right?" A small smile flashed across her face and disappeared again.

"Oh Brooke." She said grasping her friend.

"Peyton, don't okay, it doesn't matter anymore, right? You told me something last week when you gave my clothes back. You said 'Life's too short to fight, to be miserable... to let the bitter ones change how awesome you are.' And you are right. Life is too short to let Victoria make me miserable. This is the only way I can free myself from her. So now I just have to start over."

"I know you can do it, Brooke. Besides, Victoria lost her designer. It'll fall apart without you. And I'll help you. So, are you ready to tell me where those bruises really came from?" She raised a brow, praying she hadn't crossed a line with the last question.

"Not really, but when I am, you'll be the one I tell." She gave her friend a smile to say thank you for caring.

"I'll be here, B."

"I know, just know that I am doing much better now, you don't have to worry about me so much. Now what do you say we get started on that trashy wedding dress of yours?" Peyton flinched hearing the reminder of her life a few days ago.

"Or not."

"What do you mean, tell me that over this past week you have developed a fashion sense?"

She gave Brooke a small smile, but her eyes gave her away. "We aren't getting married."

"What?"

"We're through. I thought he would have told you already."

"He didn't. I thought you two were back together and happy. What changed?" She took her friends hand in her own.

"You promise to keep it between us."

"Of course."

"Two days ago, it became clear that I still have feelings for someone. God, I don't why I never saw it before. Maybe because we were both living our own lives. I do love Lucas, so much, but he said we couldn't make it work, it was just something he couldn't deal with."

"Who Peyton, are you still in love with? Is it Jake?"

"No, it might be easier if it was. I mean, how is it even possible to love more than one man?" She let the tears fall from her eyes and placed her head in her hands.

"Peyton, honey, It's possible to love more than one man. The question is who is the one you want to wake up breathing, the one you dream about, the one who makes your heart skip?"

"If that were the only question to answer, it would be simple, but it's so much more complicated than that."

"If it's not Jake, who is it Peyton?"

Peyton was about to speak when Haley and Jamie walked through the doors of the empty shop. "A great man." Was all Peyton could whisper before going to the ladies room. She didn't want Haley to know what was going on, and she definitely didn't need to have Jamie asking her.

* * *

"Lucas, what's going on?" Nathan said as he walked into his house to find his brother on the sofa.

"I was waiting on you."

"What's wrong, is it the team? How are they holding together?"

"The team is dealing with Q's death, as are we. There's something else that is bothering me." He never smiled, just by the kitchen counter stating his case.

"What is it?" Nathan became worried.

"You." Nathan's face changed wondering what it was that Lucas was referring to. "You came into my home the other night, and told my fiancé that you still loved her. After all these years, why when we finally got our act together."

"It doesn't matter what I said. She kicked me out. She's still yours."

"She couldn't deny that she still loved you. We called off our engagement. God, I know how Lindsay felt now. I can't be second best." He made his way to the door, hoping to avoid the emotions from coming. "Peyton will never do anything to hurt you and Haley's marriage, so leave her alone. Make sure she and Haley both stay happy because if you hurt either of them, I don't care if you are my brother. You will regret it." He walked out of the house leaving Nathan to stand there cursing his heart.

* * *

"What going on, why are you guys on the verge of tears?" Haley questioned the brunette as the blonde was freshening up in the back. Looking around she added "Did I miss a good sale?"

"I signed my company over to Victoria. She came and collected all of the clothes this morning."

"Brooke, she took all of the pieces that were stashed in the closet back there too?" The blonde added from the doorway.

"Yep, good old mommy dearest. At least my bank account doesn't have her name on it too. I will have to come up with a new name, new designs, and I want to completely redo this store, I am hoping you will help with that, Peyton."

"Of course."

"And Haley, I was hoping your music could fill their ears as they shop."

"That would be great."

"So that means you two should get to the studio and finish that record so that you are ready when I am." She wanted to push her friends out of the store so that she could have time to think about her new creation. "Now go."

The blonde wasn't sure what to do. "Today's not really good for me." She answered nervously.

Haley, too, wasn't sure how to be around the blonde who was obviously in her husband's thoughts. "Yeah, I have to get Jamie to this party, but I'll call you next week, and we can get together to work on. I've been writing."

"Yeah…okay. That sounds good to me. I'll see you then." She offered as Haley and Jamie walked out of the door to go to the birthday party.

Brooke stood and walked to her friend who was resting against a wall. "A great man, huh?"

"Brooke, please don't be mad. I wish I didn't feel this way. He came to me the other night and he told me he still loved me. I pushed him out the door, and told him he was just emotional from Q's death, that he had a son and a wife."

"Let's just hope he listens to you. You can't help who you love, can you?" She thought about the blonde man whom held her heart for so many years.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. Random thought for you guys. There is this band out there called Rides Again. Anyway, the lead singer is named Nathan Peyton. Just thought I'd share that with you.

* * *

"So what do you think of this place?

"It's great." She looked over the blank walls once more, and then stepped into the kitchen to see the plain cabinets. The rooms were small, but the price was good. Even though things were going good with the label right now, she didn't want to overspend on living. She didn't really want to have to find a place to live, but life hadn't asked her what she wanted.

"Peyton, I am not here to force you to buy a place. It's your money, and you are going to be living in it. Now, what's really going on in that head of yours?" Cooper felt like they had been looking at places for eternity. He was tired, and quite frankly he didn't care that much about what kind of place he found for himself. All he needed was a TV, a bed, and a fridge for the beer. Peyton on the other hand, didn't appear satisfied with any of the listings they had explored, but her words told otherwise. 'It's great' rang through Cooper's ears all day, house after house. He wanted her to talk about what was bothering her, even if he already knew.

"Nothing. I just don't really like the kitchen." She didn't want to spill her guts in front of the agent who was assisting them, nor did she really want to tell the man with her what was going on.

"Yeah, sure. How about we call it a day, and pick back up tomorrow with this. There are only so many places I can look at in one day."

"I'm getting kind of tired with this too. Thanks for all the help today Ms. Hodge. We'll call you tomorrow." They walked out of the available property no closer to finding a house than when they walked into the first one.

"Look, Deb has told me she doesn't mind me staying at the mansion, I mean she is living with Nathan and Haley anyway. I doubt she would care if you just stayed too."

"I'm sure she doesn't mind if I stay at the mansion, but I think she would care if I just decided to live there." She said referring to Tree Hill's other blonde.

"I'm just saying, we don't have to find you a place today, tomorrow, or even next week. You have a place to stay until you find one you like."

"Thanks, but I think I need to get out of there." She said as they closed the car doors. "So what do you want to do now?"

"Anything that doesn't involve looking at kitchens."

"How about we go back to that bar across town?" She gave him a smirk hoping to make his mind up for him.

* * *

Nathan settled in his spot at the bar, he had come here many times in his life; the bartender had learned his name after his accident. He would come in here at least once a day while Haley was at work, and then he would continue his binge with a bottle of Jack Daniels at home. But that wasn't the first time he had come to this bar, in high school he would frequent the place with his fake i.d. in tow. It was far enough out of town that he could bring his affairs out here, and his beautiful blonde cheerleader girlfriend would never be the wiser. Thinking back to those days, he realized what a jackass he was. It was really no wonder she had left him for his brother.

"What'll it be tonight, Nate?" He heard, startled from his thoughts.

"The normal, keep them coming." He referred the liquid that had kept him company so many times before.

"So what brings you back in here, it's been a few months."

"Life"

"Want to talk about it?" He asked with sympathetic eyes. He had heard several stories in his life, and he felt for each and every person he served.

"I'm in love with a woman."

"Well, I could see how that would be a problem." He sarcastically remarked.

"It is when she isn't the one your married to."

"Oh, well here's another man." He ushered a second shot in front of the brown-haired man.

Nathan took the drink in front of him and began consuming. He turned slightly to see the other members of the lonely hearts club around him, but when the doors opened he wasn't prepared to see her walk through them with his uncle.

"Are you okay, man, you look pale?" The bartender asked genuinely concerned.

"Not really, that is her."

"Who? THE woman of your dreams or your wife?"

"The woman in my dreams."

"So, where's your wife, if you're here pining over her?"

"She took our son to go visit his grandparents for the weekend."

He sat in silence the rest of night in silence, drinking away any intelligence he still had. He watched as Peyton and Cooper exchanged stories, laughing and touching arms. He had always been envious of his uncle, the famous racecar driver, but never as much as did at this moment. They too drank away their composure, and he knew that behind the smiles, they both held heartache, but he was still jealous. He watched as the ticket approached their table, and when Cooper pulled out his credit card, he took that moment to exit the bar. He knew they would be going back to the mansion, so he hailed a cab in hopes of arriving first.

* * *

"Is this because of Nathan?" His words obviously hit a nerve, as her body stiffened at the mention of his name.

"What about Nathan? No, it's not because of Nathan."

"I am not blind, you know." He said frustrated at the runaround the two were giving him. He had tried to ask Nathan about yesterday, but his reaction had been similar.

"I am not either."

"What are you trying to say?" Her last statement unclear in his head.

Her drunken body seemingly sobered and her eyes focused on his, taking note of all of features. "You look like him. You have the same shoulders, and you are just a little shorter, but it still feels the same as standing beside him. And to top it all off, you have his eyes." She finally let the tears consume her as she sat on the steps to the Scott Mansion.

He held her as she cried, hoping that she would stop soon. He had seen her cry many times before, it seems like her whole life had been spent crying over Nathan. He wondered if she would ever stop.

When she finally stopped, he rose from his spot beside her. "I'll be back later, okay. You go ahead and go to sleep, you need it." He walked away intent on getting the full story from Nathan, unaware that he was leaving the blonde alone with him.

* * *

He sat at the table and watched as the brass knob slowly turned, it was now or never, he still had a moment to hide from the pair, but decided against it.

When she turned around after locking the entrance, she jumped at the tall man who sat at the table. "Nathan?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Where's Cooper?"

"I don't know. What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you." He stood and made his way to her. "Is it true, he reminds of you of me?"

"Damn it, Nathan. You can't just tell me you love me, and then expect me to tell you back. Even if he does remind me of you, it is none of your business." She trembled as she spoke, uneasy at his proximity.

"I was at the bar, I saw the way you look at him. I just want to know if you feel the same way about me as I do about you." He took her hands and held them in his own. She looked down at the entwined hands and spoke again.

"God, Nathan, do you know how hard it was to be in the same room as Haley the other day. Even if I did feel that way, I couldn't do that to her, or your son for that matter."

He placed a finger below her chin, slowly bringing their eyes to meet. "Oh Peyton, I'm so sorry I've done this to you." He wrapped his arms around her body closing the gap between their bodies.

"Nathan, this is what you can't keep doing." She pushed his body away, but soon after his lips met hers. She tried to fight, but her self control went out the window with her fifth shot, and her judgment with the eighth.

His hands found her lush curls as hers found his muscular shoulders. For a moment she felt like the 16 year old girl who stood that very spot doing the exact same thing. He traced her lips with his tongue until she finally allowed entrance into her mouth.

Stumbling onto the couch, her hands found the rim of his shirt, and he helped her remove it momentarily breaking their connection. She caressed his chest muscles while regaining contact with his lips. His hands were re-exploring the curves of her body, curves that had changed from the ones he remembered as a boy. She could feel the excitement against her thigh. Things were progressing quickly, until his left hand slid up the bare skin of her back. She broke contact with his mouth, stopped movement of her hands, and quickly jumped from her spot beneath him. The cold metal from his wedding ring had sent a shiver down her spine, and a burning in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" He tried pulling her back to him.

"Nathan, what the hell was that? Your wife and your son deserve better from you, and from me, I'm supposed to be their friend." The tears fell on his chest and he began to realize just what his love was doing to the blonde. It was tearing her apart, inside and out.

"I'm gonna go, I'm really am sorry. I want to be with you, but I can't cause you pain like I am right now. God, I didn't know this would be so hard." He grabbed his shirt in his hand and walked out the front door.

* * *

Cooper was approaching the house when he saw his nephew walking, shirt in hand, and visibly aroused. He could see the shiny trails on his cheeks where obvious tears had fallen. He was about to speak, when his nephew spoke for him with pain visible in his voice.

"Go check on her." As soon as the last word, exited his mouth, both men began running to their destination. Cooper to Peyton, and Nathan as far away as possible.

* * *

Peyton had found her knees with her arms, the tears flowing from her eyes. She hadn't bother to replace her shirt or re-button her jeans, but Cooper didn't care, he wrapped his arms around her body. "Peyton, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Damn, your voice is similar to his too." she whispered. Wanting to forget what had transpired moments prior, she pulled him back onto the couch, hoping to forget about the man in her mind, and focus on the man in front of her. She pushed his lips into her own, and they continued what she and Nathan didn't finish.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill.  Sorry for the wait.  Now I am off to catch up on all the stories I am reading.  


* * *

Brooke found herself walking along the river bank. It was not something she normally did, in fact, in a normal day she would never even consider getting her shoes so close the dirt, but today was different. Two days ago, she had been Brooke Davis, owner of a multi million dollar company, and today she was just Brooke Davis. She knew she should be planning the restart of her fashion career on her own, but the inspiration wasn't there. She had to leave the empty store, and now she found herself her walking closer to the River Court.

As she approached the blacktop that held so many fond memories, she was surprised to see Nathan. They hadn't always been close, but they both considered each other friends, family even. Nathan had reached out to her when she was down, and it was nice to know he cared. He and Peyton had been the ones to help her find the strength to stand up for herself. He was throwing the round orange ball against the backboard, gritting his teeth every time it shied away from the hoop.

The sun was setting, and she could tell from the glow on his skin that he had been there awhile. "Everything okay?" she asked as she approached his figure.

"Just great." He said as yet another ball slipped to the wrong side of the rim. "Damn it." He muttered to himself. "I have been here for an hour and attempted at least 100 shots. They won't go in." He tossed the ball to the ground and grabbed his towel before sitting beside Brooke on the bleachers. "Everything okay with you? I mean, there is mud on your shoes."

"I was just walking by the river, thinking. I have to start over, and I don't know where to begin." She looked at him wondering if he was thinking about his career, his wife, or Peyton.

"Haley told me that you gave it to Victoria, but just know you can do it again. And this time you won't have to deal with anyone but yourself." He reassured her.

"I also wanted to tell you thanks."

"For what?"

"You and Peyton are the two people who brought me out of my funk." She mentally cursed herself for putting their two names together, knowing emotions lurking in the shadows of their lives. "It meant a lot to know you both cared so much. I mean Haley was there too, but she's tutur mom, she's always there. Peyton gave me good advice, and you showed me you cared. I got lucky when I got you all as friends."

"We got lucky to have to you too. I don't know how we survived 4 years away from you and Peyton after high school."

"Speaking of Peyton," she paused a moment to decide if she really wanted to bring this up. "I know." She gave him a look of sadness. She was sad for the possibilities that arose from emotions kept secret.

"You know what?" He didn't want to give himself away. He wasn't necessarily proud of himself.

"Don't play dumb, and don't act dumb. You have a great wife, a better kid, and you better not screw up their lives. And Peyton has been through enough, she doesn't deserve to be toyed with by someone she can't have. She and Luke have already called off the engagement. He was the one thing that seemed to make her happy. So just don't okay."

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen. It's not like I planned it. God, I've already screwed up her life enough from high school until now. I do love Haley, you know. She just isn't Peyton. You should go check on her." He reached for his towel and began jogging away from the court, leaving Brooke to wonder just what stupid think he already did.

Cooper tenderly caressed her back as she attempted to unbutton his pants. She stole kisses from his lips between every attempt. Finally giving up in her efforts she again placed her weight solely on his body and felt the excitement growing with every touch. Cooper too made an attempt to progress things by playing with the latch on her bra with one and cupping her face with the other. They weren't thinking about their actions, merely the primal need that became present with the first sensation of skin contact.

Peyton was again reach for his jeans when her phone jolted her from her movements and she slowed to a stop. "Hello?" She responded obviously annoyed by the interruption.

"Peyton? Are you okay, you sound out of breath?..." a pause fell on the line. "Oh" she responded with a knowing expression. "Sorry, I'll let you go, Nathan just said I should check on you so I thought maybe he did something stupid, but anyway, nevermind."

Hearing his name brought the blonde back to reality, and she grabbed her shirt and ran upstairs phone in hand. "Wait, don't go."

"He did do something stupid, didn't he?"

"Maybe, yes, I'm so horrible, Brooke."

Knowing that her friend would be needing her best friend to work this out, she responded "Look, pack your clothes and things, you are moving back in with me. I will be over there in a few minutes to pick you up."

"It's okay Brooke, I'll just drive over myself." She responded hoping to lessen the time she had to spend in the Scott house.

"No, you won't. I saw your car at the bar on the other side of town, don't worry, we'll go get it. Somebody should remind Nathan that his car is there too, before Haley asks about it." She knew when it came out of her mouth that she shouldn't be trying to make her best friend feel guilty, but she couldn't help wanting her to remember that he has a family. She was afraid of what would happen if she ever forget, even if momentarily. "Sorry, I'll do that too. Just be ready in ten."

The blonde made her way down the stairs with suitcase in hand. "Peyton, I'm so sorry about earlier, I should have known better than to do that."

"Cooper" she placed a finger of his lips. "Shh…It's okay. I was kind of initiating it, and we haven't been that great at keeping our distance anyway."

"Are you leaving?" he asked while grabbing a suitcase to help her.

Stopping in front of him, she began to speak. "I think it would be for the best. I like you, but I just broke up with my fiancé a few days ago, and I can't keep from thinking about his married brother who recently declared his love for me. I need a few days to regroup. I'm going to stay with Brooke again, I'll call you okay?"

He didn't know what he was doing either, but her words finally made him realize that maybe his presence wasn't making her life any easier. Brooke could help her so much more than he ever could. "Okay, but don't hesitate to call me if you need to talk, or if you want to go house hunting again, okay?"

"I won't, thanks." She wrapped her arms around his waste and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. Backing away, she said "Bye, Cooper." They grabbed her suitcases and walked to Brooke's car which had just pulled into the drive.

She popped the trunk, and they placed them inside. Peyton gave Cooper one last hug before sliding into the passenger seat. Brooke gave her an insinuating smile as they pulled out. "Hot Uncle Cooper, huh? Why are you coming home with me?"

"Brooke, just drive."

"Okay, Okay." They continued the rest of their trip with a few words.

"Nathan, honey, I was thinking maybe we should have a cookout. I know it is getting cold, but we should celebrate you playing again." She said while pouring their son a glass of milk.

"Yeah, daddy. We could make it a pool party."

"Alright, Jimmy Jam. We can have one." Nathan said while rubbing his son's head, sitting down on the stool beside him.

"Dad, watch the hair."

"Hey, maybe we could invite Owen. I know he was a jerk to Brooke, but I know she really cared about him. Maybe they can work it out." She said offering up suggestions for the guest list.

"Hales, do you really think that's a good idea?"

"Yeah, mom, I don't think Brooke likes him very much right now." Jamie added.

Nathan pointed at his son, "He's on team Brooke."

"Yes, I know. Go get your backpack, we don't want to be late." She turned back to Nathan, "I just want them to talk, I know she didn't get any closure with him."

"I know, I just don't know if we should intervene. It's not our place." He pleaded, knowing his wife would get her way.

"Well, we can invite some other teammates too, and that way it won't backfire."

"Okay, but if it does, I'm pointing my finger at you." He said still not wanting to interfere in their lives.

"Thanks babe." She said as she rounded the counter. "So I will pick Jamie up this afternoon and we should be home around four." She pulled him in for a kiss. "Oh yeah, and I'll invite Brooke and Peyton, if you take care of Lucas and Cooper, and of course your teammates." She pulled him in for another kiss wanting to deepen it, but he wasn't following her lead. "Where's your head at?" She said as she patted his forehead with a worried look on her face. "Sorry, when are we having this?"

"How about tomorrow at five?"

"Sounds good" he said as she headed towards the door.

"Jamie, let's go." Soon the little boy rounded the corner and kissed his father goodbye. She was about to walk out the door, when she turned around. "I love you."

"You, too." He replied as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

"Always" she looked at him expecting to hear 'and forever.' Those words somehow solidified their love over the years, but he was already munching on his cereal, having not heard or just pretending he didn't. At this point, she wasn't sure which it was, so she walked with Jamie to the car.

"Lucas, what are you doing here?" The blonde wrapped the robe tighter around her body. A week ago, she would have dropped the robe and wrapped him tightly around her. Just goes to show you how much things could change in a week.

"I knew Brooke would be at the store, and I wanted to talk to you alone." He said with his hands perched in his pockets.

She opened the door and allowed him to enter. "Sorry, I slept in." She apologized for her messy appearance.

"Wish I could have joined you" he smiled slightly before remembering that she wasn't his anymore. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay. I'm so sorry, Luke. For everything." She let the tears fall for everything that had happened over the last week. He reached to her, and let her cry on his shoulder.

"I know you are." He wasn't mad at her. He had made his fair share of mistakes over the past four years. But God help him he still loved her despite the fact that she loved his brother.

Moments passed before they spoke again. "If you told me this was all a dream, or that you realized it really is me you love, we can go back, just pretend nothing ever happened." He said almost pleaded, he missed her, and he wanted her to be his again. He had wasted so much time being stupid, and now it was as if she had finally realized he wasn't worth it. Though that may not have been the way it really was, it was how he felt.

"Luke, I can't. I need a few days alone. If I say it right now, and I don't mean it. It will only hurt you more, and I don't know if I can live with that."

"If you realize it tomorrow, or next week. Or hell, even next year, tell me, and I will be right here." He placed a hand over her heart before hugging her again.

"I'm going to go." He rose from his spot beside and walked towards the door before turning around. "I love you, Peyt."

She watched as the door clicked before whispering "I love you too, I just don't know if I am in love with you."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. The dialogue between Brooke and Owen was used in the show. I just really liked it and wanted to include it. I have been spending more time in the real world, and less time in fanfic land lately. So I'm sorry for the long periods of time between updates, and to those whose stories I normally read, I will try to catch up on reading stories tomorrow.

* * *

"Brooke, come on in, everyone is in back, I have to get something in the kitchen." Haley greeted her friend with a smile and a hug, and then retreated to the kitchen hastily grabbing the necessary spices for the burgers.

Brooke walked through the house she had come to love, over the last few months in Tree Hill. She stepped into the back yard to find several men and their girlfriends that she had never seen before. She assumed they were Nathan's new teammates. She turned to walk to toward Lucas, when she caught sight of the bartender she had put so much hope in months ago, but had let her down at the mere mention of a baby. The way he ducked out of her life the moment baby Angie arrived still infuriated her. Angie had only been with her a few weeks, and he wouldn't even meet her before he started running. That was when she turned around in her path and began walking towards Peyton, whom had found her a seat in the corner with a view of everyone at the party.

"I figured I would find you in a corner somewhere, my brooding best friend." She said sadly as she sat beside her on the concrete bench.

"And I knew you would join me when you caught sight of the guest list. You know they invited him here for you right. They think you guys can just talk again and work everything out." She smiled slightly thinking of how Haley seemed to want good for all of her friends. Her smile turned a moment later when she realized what a bad friend she was.

The quick change in emotion wasn't lost on Brooke, and she quickly asked "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She hesitated before speaking again. "Maybe you should talk to him, at least, give him a piece of your mind. Nobody said it had to be a good conversation." She chuckled slightly imagining Brooke putting Owen in his place.

"What, am I that mean?" She smiled so that her dimples were visible. Peyton thought it was great to see her friend in her more cheery demeanor, she was sad she couldn't help her more. Peyton only nodded at the question.

"I'll talk to Owen, if you talk to Lucas." She smiled again, knowing that her friend had been avoiding Lucas for fear of hurting him more than she already had.

A determined look flashed across Peyton's face, and Brooke soon knew she had made a bad deal. "Fine, I'm going now, and so are you." She grabbed her hand and practically pushed her in Owen's direction before heading to Lucas.

* * *

Brooke took one last breath before stepping in front Owen. "You know. You're a jerk, I told you I want to be a mom, and you ran away so fast you left an Owen shaped hole in my front door. And I never heard from you again, not so much as a phone call." She tried to regain her composure, but the situation infuriated her.

He was glad she initiated a conversation, he only hoped that he could make her understand. "You're right, and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry." His words were calm, and it only served to fuel her anger.

Before saying something she regretted, she turned "Whatever…you're still a jerk."

escaped her mouth just loud enough for him to hear.

He caught her arm causing her to turn back, and then he dropped it to say "I just want a chance to explain myself."

She crossed her arms, and gave him a look before sharply exclaiming, "Fine. Explain."

"Look I got freaked out when you mentioned a baby. I..I had a horrible childhood. Then I get addicted to heroin really early on. Now I avoid anything with more responsibility than making drinks." While it explained a lot; it didn't make his running any less hurtful. "The thought of me being a father is too much."

She softened slight before offering "I never asked you to be the father."

"I know but if you ever did. I know I wouldn't be any good at it. So I disappeared. And you have every right to be mad at me. And I'm sorry."

"Have you ever considered that going through all of those awful experience is exactly what is going to make a good father someday. I have seen you be responsible with Rachel and caring with Jamie." Her horrible parents only adding to her theory that she would make a good mother.

He reached for her hand, which she allowed him to take. It wasn't less painful, but it somehow felt better to know he had his reasons. Fear is a powerful emotion that can make a person do stupid things. "I promise you that I won't go anywhere this time." He said hoping she would give him another chance.

She let go of his hand and whispered "I'll think about it" She turned to walk away again, but turned her head back briefly "Jerk" she flashed him a smile, and he felt he might have another shot with Brooke Davis. Brooke, however, wasn't sure if she could forget.

* * *

After pushing Brooke to Owen, she knew she had to follow through, but she waited a few minutes until Luke and Jamie finished their own conversation. She watched as Jamie skipped away, and she laughed when he gave Brooke a thumbs up behind Owen's back. She pushed herself forward a few more steps. "Hey" she spoke quietly still unsure of how to act around him.

He immediately motioned for her to sit with him on the short concrete wall. "How have you been, Peyton?"

"Surviving. Are you doing okay?" She asked, happy to hear the sincerity in his voice.

"I've been better." He looked into her eyes, the eyes he thought were the secret to the universe. He missed her so much, she was his comet, but he wasn't going try to push her back into his arms if that isn't where she wanted to be.

"I'm sorry." She said placing a hand on his, hoping to take back some of the pain.

"You don't have to be sorry, Peyton. Nobody did anything wrong, things just don't always work out." He didn't want her feeling badly about the way they ended. He knew she was already mad at herself for her feelings anyway.

She was still amazed at how little he held against her. "I hurt you, and you are still the most caring man in the world. How?" She searched his face for any bit of anger, wanting it in hopes somebody would punish her for feeling the way she did, but incredibly happy that he still looked at her as if she hung the moon.

"I love you, Peyt. I just want to see you happy." His eyes told her more than his words ever could. In their sparkle, she could see there relationship build before her eyes, from the night they met, to the night she said someday, to their trip to vegas.

She remembered loving him, and being happy, and maybe she spoke on impulse, maybe she didn't, but she spoke all the same. "I think maybe we could be happy together." She never lost contact with his eyes, but he could see the fear in hers, fear that wasn't the right thing to say. He could only feel happy to hear those words, both knowing they were putting more faith in those words than they needed.

"I think so too." He gently kissed her lips to show her his feelings, and she let her head fall on his shoulder. She looked out hoping that she wouldn't end up hurting him again, but when she found her eyes wandering back to Nathan she knew she wouldn't be so lucky. She could feel the jealousy in his body by the mere look he was giving her. She knew he wanted to be with her, but she also knew he wanted her to be happy despite his jealousy. She turned her head and hoped to hold on to the feeling of hope Lucas was radiating.

Nathan continued stealing glances at the blonde. He didn't plan to seek her out with his eyes, but their glances always seemed to meet. She would scream at him through the green to turn away, and his icy blues would yearn for her. He would eventually turn, most of the time noticing the look his wife would give him, and he would pray he wasn't as transparent as he felt. He didn't want to feel the way he did, and he definitely didn't want to hurt Haley. He really did love her, just not quite like he needed to. He was grateful when he felt a rain drop fall on his head, and the guests began to move indoors. He took a few seconds on the patio alone before entering the house to see the blonde disappear around the corner. She looked to be happy, with Lucas beside her no less. He couldn't wish anyone better on her, so he silently vowed to put more effort into his family.

* * *

His glances had become too much for her. She thought she made a good decision with Lucas, but when the rain interrupted the outdoors she stole the opportunity to get away and just breathe. She turned the corner and leaned her back against the cold white wall only to notice the photo of Nathan and Haley on their wedding day. They both looked so happy, but she remembered that day all too well. Before she could analyze the picture and her emotions, she caught sight of the blonde spikes rising from behind a single bed. She entered the room cautiously; she and the child hadn't been extremely close as of yet, but they were progressing.

"Hey, buddy, what wrong?" The concern on her face grew as she rounded the end of his bed to see the tears in his eyes.

"I miss Q. Mama says he can fly now, but I still miss him." She slowly sat beside him on the floor and placed her hand on his small shoulder.

"You know, when I was eight, my mom went to heaven. I was so sad. It really helped me to tell Brooke my favorite memories of her. I still like to talk to her and pretend she is there. I tell her what is going on in my life, and I know she is listening from heaven. All those things helped me, maybe when you really start missing Quinton, you can tell your mama and your daddy your favorite memory of him. They will listen." She finished with water forming in her own eyes.

"Can I tell you?" He looked up at her awaiting a response.

"Of course you can." She said moving him into her lap, so he could see her face better.

* * *

"Hey baby, why don't you go check on Jamie while I get the burgers ready for you, okay?" She said while placing a quick kiss on his lips. Both Brooke and Lucas watched from their perch in the living room wondering how Nathan could be two different people all at the same time.

"Be right back."

He rounded the corner to his son's room to find him there. He jumped slightly; however, when he found him. He hadn't expected her to be with son, he wasn't sad. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." The expressions on their faces made him feel as though he were intruding on a special moment, so he turned to leave.

He was stopped by his son's voice "No daddy, stay." The little boy had risen from Peyton's lap and grabbed his father hand pulling him down beside the saddened, now uncomfortable blonde. "We were talking about Q." He said as he sat down in his father's lap and resting his feet on Peyton's. "Tell me your favorite memory."

His blue eyes clouded at the thought of Q, but he would forever remember what he brought to his life. If it hadn't been for him, he may not have found basketball again. But more important than the basketball was his son's relationship with him. "My favorite memory was the day, I walked into the gym to find you and Q laying down rhymes."

Jamie added "Then you tried to rap." He turned to Peyton continuing "Daddy doesn't know how to rap very well. He's got no rhythm." Nathan pretended to be embarrassed, but continued his story.

"I really loved watching you and him together, he seemed happiest and free when he was around you. That was good for him, he was young, he deserved to feel free." Peyton listened as her first love remembered a loved one he had lost. It brought back memories of the deaths of her mothers. He placed her hand on Nathan's shoulder hoping to send him some comfort, to let him know that things get better; she did the same with Jamie before getting up and exiting the room quietly while Jamie continued sharing his favorite memories.

She walked slowly to the kitchen where Haley was before approaching the woman to take her spot. "Here let me. You should go be with Jamie and Nathan. They are in his bedroom." Haley, somewhat startled by the seriousness in her voice, was grateful for Peyton's thoughtfulness. She was fully convinced her husband was in love with his former girlfriend, but Peyton was a great friend, and she definitely couldn't hold it against her.

"Thanks." She said as she exited the room to find her husband and son. Hoping to share any moments that could unite her and Nathan again, she found them and began too sharing her experiences about Q.

* * *

"That was really sweet, you know." The brunette said from the opposite end of the counter as Peyton was tossing the salad, holding back tears. She just looked at Brooke and faked a smile, continuing her work.

"I know it is hard, but you will make it through all of this, P." Peyton wasn't sure what to believe anymore. Her love for the younger Scott brother came flooding back so quickly following his proclamation of feelings. She hadn't been aware he was still in her heart; she had long ago accepted Naley, as Brooke deemed them. She then glanced at her best friend. "You'll be okay too, Brooke."

"I know." She said as stared out the window at a man she had grown to love, but had thought was long gone until now. She just hoped he showed her he did want to be with her.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. This chapter is called "A Drop In the Ocean" after a song by Ron Pope. It would be playing in the background in the final scene if this were a show. Sorry for my long absence. I am behind on reading, writing, reviewing, but hopefully I will catch up after the New Year. I have had this chapter written for a while and I was planning to go back and tweak it a little, but then I decided you all had waited long enough for an update. Hope everyone has Happy Holidays.

* * *

Two days ago Peyton told Lucas they could be happy together, and when she opened her eyes to find him smiling at her as if he were truly ecstatic she didn't regret her decision. If she could keep her heart quiet, Lucas and Haley and Jamie could all remain happy. She too could be happy and so could Nathan. Lucas and Haley were amazing people with lots of love to give, it's not like there wasn't any love there. She brought herself back to reality and quickly pulled Lucas into a kiss in an attempt to turn off her brain.

"Good morning to you too." Lucas smirked as he stared content at the woman before him. She had come back to him, he set her free and she came back. That had to mean something, right?

"Good morning. How would you like it if I made your favorite breakfast?" She smiled before getting up to walk towards the kitchen.

Regretfully he spoke "I can't I have to meet with someone about my book this morning. But I would be glad to have breakfast in bed tonight." He met her cheek with his lips before she turned around and he whispered in a low voice. "or dessert?"

She slapped him playfully before pushing him off to the bathroom to get ready. She was left in the hallway staring at her reflection in the mirror. She put on a hollow smile, just praying that she was only one who could see the emptiness.

* * *

"P. Sawyer. There you are. So you and Luke have a happy reunion last night or what?" Brooke greeted the blonde as she walked into their house.

"Brooke, I don't know what you are insinuating. So how are the ideas for the new store coming?" She quickly reflected the topic back to her friend.

"Peyton, I know you are having a hard time, but this is the right thing. In a few months, it will all fall back into place, and you'll forget any of this happened. You'll be Mrs. Lucas Scott. It's what you've wanted for so long." She hugged her friend as she spoke hoping to convince herself of what she were saying as well.

"How do I know it's what I've wanted, if one man saying one sentence makes me doubt everything? Thanks for trying, Brooke, I know this is the right thing for everybody. I just hope I don't shortchange Lucas in the process. He deserves all of me." She regretfully spoke, thinking about how since this began she had halfheartedly responded to Lucas' love.

"You'll get there, P. Just give it time." She whispered in the blonde's ear as she broke their embrace.

"So, back to the store, how's it coming?"

"Surprisingly well, Milli has been helping me out a lot. I almost have a whole new line ready. Since you have painted already, all I need now is that record from a certain Haley James."

"We're working on it, slowly. Brooke, I still don't know why you had me paint if all you wanted were plain walls." She asked as she made her way to the couch.

"Easy, I hate the smell of paint, and you, well, you don't." She walked to her friend and pulled her up. "No you don't, Owen is coming over, it is probably going to be R rated around here. I'm not sure whether it will be violence or sexual content yet, but you probably don't want to be here."

"Oo, you're right. I don't. I'll probably stay at Luke's again tonight, so …good luck with Owen."

* * *

Peyton walked to the golden sand on the edge of the water. She was convinced that no one could avoid falling in love with the ocean if they lived in a water town. There was something for everyone. The happy people could have their surf waves, the beautiful sunsets, and exquisite shell findings. Those who weren't happy could have the dark waves and the gritty sand beneath their feet. The ocean could portray feelings of anger, happiness, peace, and even sarcasm if you considered the eye of hurricane where it calms in the center of a tumultuous storm. Peyton found that no matter her mood, the ocean understood. Today the waves were violent, the sky overcast, and the birds had already migrated. The way the ocean appeared was exactly the way Peyton was feeling. She found a spot that was fairly dry and sat down watching the water move swiftly to and away from her.

It just so happened that this spot was the one where she gave her heart to Nathan Scott, unaware that she never got it back.

"So you guys are back together?" He asked softly as he approached the sandy beach and her small frame.

"Yeah." She whispered, barely audible afraid if she said too much, too loudly he would talk her out of whatever it was she had managed to convince herself.

"Does he make you happy?" He sat in the cold rough sand beside her. He secretly hoped that she would lean into him and he could wrap an arm around her. They could watch the waves crashing in front of them, and it would seem as though they sixteen all over again. But that wasn't the way their lives had ended up. He quickly remembered their circumstances and how he had ruined their somewhat normal friendship because of his emotions.

"I love him." Just not in love with him, she added in her mind. The waves crashed violently in the background as she battled internally to convince herself she was doing this for the good of everyone. Lucas loved her, and she could learn to forget about the feelings in her heart. She spent months pining for the blonde man before the switch flipped in her head telling her what her heart had known all along. But she couldn't have Nathan. If only he hadn't have told her the way he felt, she could have moved on oblivious to her own self denial.

"That's all I want for you Peyton. I know I was a jerk to bring this up, it was never my intention to screw with your happiness." He regretted his actions, and it shone through in the tone of his voice. She could hear the sadness.

"Nate" He closed his eyes upon hearing his name come from her lips, but she wouldn't look at him, so she couldn't see him taking in her sound. "I just don't understand how you go from absolutely in love with Haley to declaring your love for me the next."

"Peyton, I didn't fight for you in high school because I saw how much you liked Lucas. It wasn't because I didn't love you, it was because I did. You weren't ever happy with me. I was a crappy boyfriend, and I felt like he would treat you better." He wasn't finished but she cut in.

"But we didn't even get together until senior year, he went to Brooke after we broke up." Confusion in everything from the past to the present to the future ran through her head as she voiced her thoughts.

"But you still had the connection with him, or you wouldn't have gotten together senior year. Besides, I was with Haley. It was easy to change around her, she didn't expect me to screw up, or to be great. It was a fresh start. I did fall in love with that feeling, and I think a lot of times I confused that feeling with Haley and I grew to love her because of it. It felt nice to have someone who believed I could be a good person." He glanced at her to see the tears falling down her cheeks. "Besides you were never happy with me, remember?"

She sighed heavily and wiped her eyes before speaking, her body aching from the pain of the past. She realized now that she never really grieved the loss of her relationship with Nathan. "I would have believed you could be better if you would have just shown me, but you let me down every single time with every single girl you did behind my back. But I loved you Nathan, just being with you made me happy, even if you were an ass most of the time. Even a year later when I found out you slept with my best friend, I still couldn't regret our relationship. Believe me, I tried." He reached out for her shoulder but was met with her hand pushing him away. "Don't. You say you loved me, but there were so many times when I could have used a friend and you weren't there. Sure you were there when things weren't so great with Haley, but what about when things were going well. It was then that getting us in the same room took a class assignment or something."

"I wanted to be there, but it hurt too much. Lucas was more than happy to be your hero. On top of that, every time we were together I was reminded I lost you." He reasoned, hoping to make her understand his absence.

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth, then we wouldn't be here working through this now. We could have figured it out with a lot less pain." Her eyes finally found his, waiting for the explanation.

"I tried." He calmly stated. He turned his head away from the woman he was in love with; he didn't want to see the pain or raw emotion in her eyes knowing he couldn't take it away.

"When?" she asked letting the moments of silence that followed pass before pulling his shoulders back in her directions, making his eyes meet hers. "When did you try?" she pleaded. Both had tears in their eyes as they wondered what could have been if they had just made a different choice. The waves slowed for the first time since they had arrived, and it seemed as if nature wanted to know the answer just as much as Peyton.

"The night of the boy toy auction, I told you I would always have feelings for you…"

"And then went on about how you owed it to Haley to be a better man."

"You seemed happier since I wasn't bringing more pain into your life. The day we had to take pictures for our English assignment. I told you about carving your initials into the weights, and I told you we were good together, but you said we were horrible and then showed me where you broke your knuckle. I didn't have a choice; you obviously didn't feel the same way."

"Of course, I could see how you would think that. Because I often slam my fist into walls for guys for guys I don't love?" Her voice screamed sarcasm, but beneath that and beneath the anger, he could still hear the pain. "I've got to go, it's getting dark and Lucas is probably worried. We can't keep fighting over what we can't change, okay? It's too late for us."

"Again, I'm sorry. It wasn't my plan to hurt you." He said as he rose from the sand and then helped her so they could face each other.

"I know." She said as he wiped away her last tear with his thumb, calming down slowly with each breath she took.

He grabbed her hand and softly placed his lips down on her skin. "I love you, but I'll try to pretend none of this ever happened. Be happy with Lucas, he really does love you." He leaned forward and quickly connected their lips before turning and leaving the blonde standing alone, physically and emotionally. The struggle to forget Nathan Scott would be one she would continue to face on her own.

* * *

Dan Scott hadn't lived the perfect life. If anything he wished he could go back and change things so that his sons would love him. He had never realized how important that was until he lost Nathan and Lucas forever. One thing in his life was worth waking up for every morning, and that was Jamie. To that little boy, Dan Scott was the man who saved him from a crazy woman, the man who talked to him during recess, and the man who had to be great because his daddy was great. He didn't have any horror stories of Dan's life prior to prison, and for that he was grateful. For him, he would do what needed to be done.

He looked out the window as the blonde woman slowly made his way to the car she came in. He looked down at the thick paper between his hand, and he could see the image as it slowly formed in the chemical square. His son and the blonde with their lips connected appeared, and Dan was left standing there wondering what he would do with his information.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Don't own One Tree Hill...Thanks for being patient...I still have a lot of plans for this story and a distant chapter already written, I just have to build up to that point. Enjoy.

* * *

"Peyton, is that you?" she hears Lucas' voice ring through the house.

"Yeah, babe. It's me." She said as she slipped off her shoes and place her jacket in the closet soon feeling Lucas wrap his arms around her waist and whisper 'I love you' in her ear. She didn't like the double life she seemed to be living, but Lucas was great. She would be stupid to break his heart over something that doesn't matter anyway. She could never be with Nathan.

"I love you too," she whispered, hoping it didn't sound as hollow as it felt.

"So I have a surprise for you. It's in the kitchen." He said before kissing her lips and walking to the other room.

"What is it?" she said quickly following him.

"You'll see" was all he got before she rounded the corner and saw the candles on the table and three place settings.

"The table looks great Luke, but who is coming." She asked curiousity streaming from her face.

"Well, if I told you that it would be a surprise now would it. Here have some wine while you wait, my lady." He placed a glass in her hands and pulled out the chair. He had planned this evening all day, and he wanted it to be perfect.

Two hours later with a half empty bottle of wine, both Lucas and Peyton became all too aware that the guest wasn't going to be making an appearance. "I'm sorry, Peyt, he said he would come." He said finally breaking the silence that had hung between them.

"Who was it anyway?" she tried to sound undisappointed as she got up to get the food so they could at least have the wonderful meal that Luke prepared.

"Sit back down, I'll do it." He grabbed the meat platter from her hand and began serving them both the roast lamb and sides he had prepared. "It was Mick. You seemed so excited about the possibility of him being your father, I wanted to get to know him too. I don't know why he would say he was coming if he wasn't." He sounds disappointed, but he knew what she was feeling was ten times worse.

"It's okay, Luke, we should both know by now not to get our hopes up when it comes to parents." She began cutting the lamb, seemingly unphased , though Lucas knew different. "This is delicious" she said raising her fork and flashing a grin in his direction.

"Well, you know, somebody has to know how to cook in this house. Otherwise, we'd starve." He said following her subject change.

"Ha ha. Very funny" was all she said before they finished the evening in silence. She was thinking about all the things she wanted to say to Mick but was afraid to. Now, she finally had the motive to release her feelings. About how he deserted a child, and about he came back into her life only to let her down once again.

* * *

"Hey, Daddy. Are we going to play basketball tomorrow at the Rivercourt?" Jamie asked while sitting beside his father on the plush white sofa.

Nathan took his eyes from the TV to look at his son. "Of course we are buddy. That is if you still want to." Nathan wasn't about to make Jamie play basketball if it wasn't something he didn't want to do. He wasn't going to push, and he wasn't going to be his father.

"Of course I do silly, I love basketball." Jamie said while resting his head on his father's lap. "I just wanted to check. Grandpa Dan said I would be spending more time with him soon, so I just wanted to make sure we were still going to play together tomorrow." Jamie said it simply, but the words told by his father made Nathan extremely uncomfortable.

He wasn't going to say anything around Jamie, however, and just rubbed his sons hair while they watched sportscenter together. An hour later, the small snore escaping the young childs head told Nathan he had drifted to sleep. Nathan put him to sleep and then joined his wife in the kitchen.

Haley was making chocolate chip cookies when Nathan came into the kitchen. "Do you know anything about Jamie spending more time with my dad?"

"No, why?" she looked up from the bowl of flour, eggs, and such to give her husband a strange look.

"Because that's what he told Jamie." He and his wife exchanged looks of worry. They hadn't wanted to let Dan into Jamie's life, but the young child had been persistent about it and they wouldn't deny their son the chance to know his grandfather if that is what he wanted.

He sat at the kitchen bar pondering silently while Haley continued baking. She watched as he kept his stair on a single spot on the countertop and she could tell what he was thinking for the first time in a while. Since she realized he was in love with someone else.

"If you want to go talk to him, go, find out." He felt as if she had read his mind. Something they hadn't done in a while, and it gave him a sense of why they are good together. There was love between them. Now the question was did it solely revolve around matters involving Jamie.

He rose to walk around the counter and kissed her on the lips, a kiss that meant more than it had in the last few weeks. Maybe they wanted to pretend it meant more, maybe it really did. Neither knew, but it was a welcome change from their previous.

"Thanks, babe. I'll be back later." He said before exiting their house.

* * *

"Nathan, son. Come on in." Dan greeted as he held open the door to the beach house.

"I'll make it quick. I just want to know why you have been telling my son that he will be spending less time with us and more time with you. We never arranged anything like that, so what are you planning?" Nathan stood tall making sure his father knew he was serious.

Dan smirked in the manner he had for most of his life. His son could tell that something was up, it wasn't Dan's fault what was going to happen, he was just going to speed up the process so that everything would be like it should. "Nathan, I'm just making things right. Are you ever going to be able to forgive me? I love you, son. I want you come over for dinner on Saturday. You, me and Jamie to do things together."

"Whatever you're planning to make right, just don't. You'll just make things worse." Nathan said before turning to walk away. Dan was sure this time he thought far enough ahead to know he was doing the right thing, even if no one else could see it. "And no, Dad, we can't be a perfect little family. You had a good life, and you ruined it. You can blame yourself for that one."

"Nathan, wait?" Dan said as he paced down the steps of the house to reach for his son.

"What?" He said annoyed that he had Dan Scott as his father, annoyed that his life wasn't where he wanted it.

"Are you happy?" Dan's eyes bore into those of his second born son to find an answer. He needed to be sure he was going to be doing the right thing.

"What the hell kind of question was that? You know what, you can stop your mind games too. Just be a good grandfather to Jamie on Sunday's and stay the hell away from us every other day." He was going to turn to leave again until Dan's tear caught him off guard followed by the sadness in his voice.

"Nathan, I wasn't happy, and look what it did to me, Deb, you. I don't want that for you. You deserve better than me, but I can't change any of that. Just tell me, are you happy?" he repeated again.

"I have a wonderful son, for that I'm happy." He said before walking off, more upset than he was when came. He couldn't blame Dan for his life going to hell. Dan had never wanted him with Haley in the first place, Dan had helped him get his dream of the NBA, and Dan had been there for Jamie. He could only blame himself for ignoring his feelings for Peyton for so long, himself for losing the NBA, and himself for disappointing Jamie in the past. It was his own fault his life wasn't where he wanted it, and he couldn't fix it. Here he was, Nathan Scott, unhappy in his should be perfect life at the young age of 23.

* * *

"Hey man" he directed towards the already drunk man sitting at the bar flipping a small wooden circle around in his fingers. "Can I get my usual?" he directed towards the stalky man behind the counter.

"Sure thing." Replied the bartender while Nathan took the empty stool beside the other man.

"Do you have kids?" asked the man. He must have been in his fifties, he had a rock star vibe about him, and you could tell the world had taken its toll on his body.

"A son, Jamie. He's five." He responded wondering if his children were the reason this man was drowning himself.

"I have a daughter." He slurred his words in Nathan's direction and caught his eyes. He had seen those eyes before but he couldn't quite place them, and then he caught sight of the round token the man had been playing with. It was a token to signal a period of time sober, he had seen his mom's before, and he wondered what could be so bad to get the man off track. "She doesn't know I'm her father, I keep denying. She's about your age. I was supposed to go there for dinner tonight but I can't bring myself to do it." He continued more to himself than the two men listening to him.

"Why don't you want her to know you're her father?" Nathan asked, curious about the situation.

"She's great, and she has amazing talent, and I wasn't there. Her mother and I gave her up because we knew it would be best for her. I don't deserve to be around her greatness. I make a horrible father." He finished before downing another glass of scotch. Nathan began sipping on his whiskey, but never stopped looking at the token in the man's hand.

"It's not mine."

"What?" Nathan said, surprised to hear his voice again.

"It was her token, the mother of my child. She was sober once in her life, that was when she was pregnant. I loved her so much." The tears began sliding down his cheeks as he continued. Nathan sat there intently listening but still not connecting the pieces. After regaining his composure, he went on. "I'm sorry, I just miss her so much. And my daughter looks just like her. She's beautiful. Ellie would be so proud." And it clicked. Nathan finally realized whose eyes the man had. They were Peyton's. He knew she would be with Luke, but he had to tell her to come down here. Maybe this man would finally let Peyton in while he was intoxicated since it wasn't happening when he was sober.

"I'll be right back." Nathan said to the bartender, so he wouldn't take his drink away. He went out the front doors and dialed a number he had never forgotten.

"_Hello?"_

"Peyton, it's me, Nathan. I think you should come to the bar outside of town. Do you know which one I am talking about?"

"_Yeah, I know which one. I can't_…" she was cut off when Lucas grabbed the phone_._

"_Nathan, leave Peyton the hell alone. We are going to get married, and in case you forgot, you already are_." He screamed towards his younger brother, unsure if really wanted to call him that, his brother_._

"Luke, it's not like that."

"_Then tell me what's it like then, huh_?" he replied harshly, though Nathan never acted irritated with Lucas' attitude.

"Her dad is here at the bar on the edge of town. I thought she could come and maybe he would admit the truth, so she can move on." The next thing he heard was the click of the phone. He wasn't sure if that information would be used, but he hoped it would so that Peyton could find closure in her life.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I don't own One Tree Hill.

I know it has been a looooonnnnggg time since I've updated so I hope some of you out there are still interested. I'll be working on some updates to my other stories and a Pathan oneshot I've begun. It may take a while for me to get back in the swing of things though. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

"Luke, what do you think you are doing? That is my phone and he is still my friend. You had no right." She responded with her face matching the cold tone in her voice.

"I have no right. I come home to him confessing that he loves you, I nearly lost you forever and I have no right." He mirrored back.

"No, you should trust the woman you claim to love. Now are you going to tell me what he said?"

"I'm sorry." He added, in a more softened tone than before. He knew acting like the jealous man he was would get him nowhere with Peyton, especially with the knowledge that she probably cared more for the man on the other end of the phone than she did him. "Mick is apparently at the bar on the end of town. Maybe we should go down there."

"No, we can't. He didn't have the decency to show up to this meal you planned and prepared. He doesn't deserve to have us come find him for answers. He'll just have to live with the choices he makes." She said haughtily before quickly leaving the room and plopping down loudly on the sofa, letting out a sigh as she did.

He followed her into the living. "What's wrong now?"

"This will never work if you don't trust me. You and me." He was confused. Was she saying that they were over?

"Peyton." He said as he sat beside her, rubbing her shoulder lightly. "I do trust _you_. I'm sorry, I just can't trust him, not with the way he is toying with the two people I care most about."

"Can you try? I don't want things to be like they were before, when we were all so divided."

"I'll try, for you. And Jamie. But I can't promise anything." He kissed her temple, hoping they were going to be able to put all of this behind them one day.

"All I'm asking is that you try." She said leaning into his side. "You ready for bed?"

"Let me finish the dishes." he said placing a quick kiss on her cheek. When he went to get up, she pulled his arm so that he fell back down.

"Or you could leave them." She whispered in a sultry voice.

His body immediately responded to her sexiness, and he managed to get out ' umm, ye..yeah." before their lips joined in passion.

They both loved the physical connection, but they also both knew that their relationship lacked its foundation. Lucas wanted to believe that after everything, she still wanted him. He wanted her; he had since he was nine. Sure he had screwed things up a few times, but he was in it now for a lifetime, if she was.

Peyton wanted their relationship to work for the sake of those around them, but her heart hadn't been in it since LA in that hotel room, if it was even in it then. Lucas hadn't exactly painted himself a faithful and monogamous man. He had flip flopped often in high school between herself and the bubbly brunette, and even just a few short months ago, between herself and Lindsay. When he called her at the airport, she wanted to believe that it would last because she was always the common factor in his triangles, but she couldn't know that. She also thought that if she was the one for him, then there wouldn't have been the confusion in the first place. And now, she was confused. So she used the physical connection they shared as a way of convincing them both that were in it. Despite what her heart said or his mind said.

* * *

"What did Dan say?" she asked as soon as he walked into their home.

"He wouldn't tell me what he meant by it." He conceded, hoping the smell of alcohol wasn't strong on his breath.

Too bad it was. "Have you been drinking?" She asked, her eyes pleading for them not to enter the cycle they were in after his accident.

"It's not like last time; I just had a few after my talk with my father. He makes me so angry. I don't know why the parole board ever let him out of prison." He had gone to the bar after seeing his dad, and he stayed around for a couple more hours after calling Peyton. He had hoped she would show up so he sat and talked to the Mick guy. When she never came, he only hoped it was because of her and not Lucas.

"Nathan, I know how you feel, but we need to be supportive at least around Jamie. He really loves him." She said handing him a breath mint to mask the smell.

"I know. I think I'm gonna go up and get clean." He leaned in to kiss his wife, but she turned away. "I'm sorry about tonight. I won't do it again."

His words used to be the only reassurance she needed, but something had changed over the last few weeks, and now she wasn't sure what to believe. But if he wanted to pretend everything was fine, she would go along with it for the sake of her family. "I'll kiss you when you're cleaned up." She smiled when he walked away dejectedly.

"Mommy." Jamie walked into the room rubbing his eyes with his fists.

"Sweetie, what are you doing awake?" she said motioning for her child to join her on the sofa.

"I was thirsty. Can I have a drink of water?"

"Sure thing, Jimmy Jam." She said filling a glass halfway and taking it back to the couch to sit beside her son.

"Can I stay up and watch the late show?" After his mother sent him a look saying no, he added with his biggest grin. "Please, just for tonight?" he asked with his bottom lip protruding to a pleaful pout.

"Okay maybe for a few minutes, my funny man." She agreed remembering the talent show where he transformed from a pianist to a comedian with such ease.

A few minutes later she was stroking his hair and he was wrapped in a blanket with his head in her lap. "What's Jamie doing up?" Nathan asked as he descended the stairs.

Averting his eyes quickly, Jamie stated "Jay Leno."

"I told him a few minutes, at least through the opening jokes." Haley added as Nathan sat beside her on the couch, wrapping his arm tightly around his wife's shoulders and kissing her temple. He really did want to try to make everything normal again. He was beginning to hate himself for the trouble he was causing those around him.

"Do you mind taking Jamie to school in the morning? I have a teacher's meeting tomorrow at the Board and I have an errand to run in the morning."

Nathan shrugged his shoulder, and said "sure".

* * *

The next morning the storm clouds threatened to pelt down rain on the small town of Tree Hill. Nathan took Jamie to school, kissing his wife on the way out the door. Peyton slipped off to the office before Luke awoke to an empty bed, and Haley kept her morning errands a secret. By the time she walked up to the white house she thought would remain uninhabited for a while, she breathed in heavily getting ready to take on the world, or at least Dan Scott.

After knocking forcefully she awaited as the heavy footsteps approached.

Dan looked at the woman before him not really expecting her to be there, but delighted that he could still cause such stirred emotions. I mean otherwise she wouldn't be at his doorstep after the encounter with Nathan, right? "Ahh, Mrs. James…" he paused for a moment. "…Scott, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He had accepted Haley as his daughter-in-law, but it didn't mean he had to agree that she was what was best for his son, or make it easier on her. He had screwed up those relationships long ago with his son and Haley, when he pushed for the annulment.

"Cut the crap, Dan. I know you are up to something. Nathan may not think much about it because he wants to believe what you are feeding him about being a better person, and against my better judgment, I let Jamie see you but I don't buy that you've changed. So what are you up to? Why does my son think he is going to be spending more time with you?"

He could have just told her right then and there what he knew, but he didn't want the betrayal to come from him, knowing that the bearer of bad news often got the brunt of the anger. He didn't want to jeopardize his time with the youngest Scott. "Haley, relax. It is not just an act, prison changed me. I wouldn't do anything that hurts Jamie, it was just wishful thinking on my part. I was hoping that you guys were finally going to trust me. I was planning on coming to you this week and asking if Jamie could stay over for a whole night. I really love our time together, and I think he does too." He plastered the sincere grin to his face. He hadn't told the whole truth, he had a picture that could shake up his son's family, but until today he hadn't known if he was actually going to use it or not. However, when an angry Haley shows up on his doorstep accusing him of scheming, granted it was true, he wasn't going to protect her. His son deserved to be happy; Jamie deserved happy parents, so he planned to see them find happiness.

"No, Jamie can't spend the night. I still don't trust you completely. You can continue to spend Sunday afternoons with him, but no more." She said believing his story, but not apologizing for her overreacting.

"And what about Nathan, do you trust him completely?" Haley scoffed. Damn Dan Scott, it was his own fault he couldn't be trusted. But she couldn't hide the flicker of pain that flashed in her eyes and that stupid 'I caught on to that' grin flashed across Dan's face.

"I love my husband." She said assuredly.

"That's not what I asked? I asked if you trusted him?" He repeated as he sat down on the chair on his porch, ready to begin a long conversation.

"This isn't about him; this is about you and your time with Jamie. I think we cleared that up, so I'll be leaving now. Don't do anything to hurt my family."

He watched as Haley strode away, unable to hide her anger with him. He could only smile to himself. He was pleased that he could still push people's buttons, and he realized that maybe he only really cared what Jamie thought of him. He could continue to toying with those he didn't like. It was a hell of a lot of fun, and besides this time, he wasn't really doing anything. This was all on Nathan, and he was just trying to get his son in a position to be happy, despite the fact that it would hurt his other son.

* * *

Haley found herself outside the doors to her friend's office at Tric, unable to go in even though she had just seen the blonde walk in. She stood there, unable to move, after hearing a conversation begin behind the doors. She had witnessed Peyton and Luke kiss while Lindsay was still his girlfriend. The more she thought about trust, the more she began to realize she really had no foundation for trusting Peyton either, so she just listened, afraid of hearing something about Nathan.

When Peyton had walked into her office that morning, she found Mick's sleeping body lying on top of the pool table in the corner.

"Get up!" the blonde woman reached and pushed the man's shoulder slightly to jar him awake. He slowly brought his feet to the edge of the table, wiping away at the sleep in his eyes.

"Peyton…"

"Don't…Just shut up! I can't believe I wanted to just welcome you into my life. God, I'm an idiot." She began pacing in front of him. "Why couldn't you have just told me up front there was no hope instead of going over albums and playing in my studio? You obviously don't want to get to know me, so just get out!" She stopped to stare directly into his eyes which offered no hope for a future as she wished silently. "Just go."

He hopped off the table as she sat behind her desk and began going through the mail. He reached into his pocket and looked at the wooden token that he had held onto so desperately for years. He finally tossed it on the desk beside her gaining no response as she continued to ignore him. "It was your mother's, it represents the only time she was ever sober, when she was pregnant with you. I've had it since you were born." He walked to the door and turned back once more to take in the likeness of the child he created with the woman he loved. "I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be, Peyton. I really am."

When she heard the door shut behind him, she noticed his guitar still placed in the corner of the room and the token he had placed before her. She picked it up and let the tears fall. That's how Haley wound up with her arms around the blonde as she rocked back and forth with the tears and the pain. Haley had wanted to come in and confront Peyton about her feelings, but this was definitely not the time.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Don't own One Tree Hill or its characters. Here's another chapter for this one! I am working on updates for the others, but I am having renewed inspiration in this one. There is still a far off chapter that has been written for about 7 months that I need to find a way to lead up to. You guys are great, thanks for still reading!

* * *

Nathan huffed as he watched the ball roll around the orange rim and fall to the outside for what seemed like the hundredth time in an hour. His game was off and he wished he could fix it. "Hey babe. Can you help with the groceries?" Haley cried out from behind the silver SUV.

"Yeah, why not." He walked to the vehicle and grabbed all of the bags that were left before shutting the door with his hip and following his wife inside.

"Set those on the counter, and I'll unpack them later. I just want to take a few minutes before I have to go and pick up Jamie from Leo's house she said as she sat down on the couch.

"Long day?" he asked his wife hoping to open up a comforting conversation as he came up behind her and began rubbing her shoulders.

"Mmm. I was with Peyton. She's going through a lot right now." She pretended she didn't feel the slight jerk in his hand movements at the mention of her name. But that only lasted for a minute. Why was she trying to deny this? If her husband didn't love her it was time for her face it already, right? "Nathan, where have you been lately? You're here with me physically, but you are so far away."

"Basketball." He responded shakily. "I've been playing for an hour and I've only been able to make 2 shots. I should be better than that. I am better than that."

"You know if something is wrong on the court, then something's probably wrong off the court."

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he stopped the movement of his hands on her shoulders, slightly take aback by her persistence to hear the problem with _them_.

"I'm talking about you. I wish you could figure out what you're feeling. I'm not stupid, just tired. Tired of this. This shouldn't be hard, but it has been everyday since we got married at 16. I don't want to have to worry about other women. I can forget about Carrie, but I can't forget about another one."

"I don't believe this. I thought you believed me when you took me back, but you still think I slept with her, don't you?" he backed away from her and grabbed his water from the counter to put the distance between them.

"You were in the shower naked, Nathan, how is that not proof."

"It's proof because I was never unfaithful to you, not even in high school when Rachel threw herself at me." He stared directly at the woman he fell in love with as a teenager. He wanted to make her believe him. He wanted to know she did believe him.

Apparently she didn't'. "How do I know you didn't sleep with her and weren't just better at hiding it?" she bit back, surprised at her own vigor in this conversation. She had felt the fear and jealousy bubbling up from the dark corners of her brain for a while now.

"Fuck it, I don't need this. I'll be home later." He exited the house angry.

"Fine." She said slamming the door shut where he had left it open on his way out. She had wanted to start this conversation, but she meant for it to lead to the truth about his feelings, not an argument because she doesn't believe he's been faithful. If she was honest, she had believe him when he told her what happened with Carrie. But now she didn't. Now it involved him and his feelings for Peyton, and Peyton had always been their weak spot.

* * *

"Lucas?" She spoke his name loudly as she walked into the house. He never answered, so she slipped off her shoes and walked down the hall to their room. She needed a nap. Watching Mick walk out of her life so easily and then crying into the shoulder of a best friend she betrayed every time she thought about Nathan was exhausting. She was kind of glad she didn't have to explain away the tears.

She had just slipped under the plush comforter when the doorbell rang. "Damn it." She muttered under her breath, pulling herself back out of the bed and glancing to see just how bad the blotches on her face were. She didn't have time to fix them with makeup so she went to the door as she was. She wasn't really prepared to see the man before her. Thinking back, she had decided it had been at least 4 years since she had seen him last. She couldn't say she was sad about that. "Lucas isn't here. I don't think he'd talk to you if he was anyway."

"I'm not here for Lucas, Ms. Sawyer. He's at the rivercourt with Nathan." He stated as he had driven by the court on his way to the house to see her. "I wanted to see you alone. You're in love with my son, right?" She felt uneasy by his presence but she opened the door and let him enter despite her feelings.

"Yes, I love him very much." She answered quickly, not wanting this man to know any of her fears or really anything more than he would ask. She also didn't want him to know the confusion as to which him she was referring.

"I think we both know I'm not talking about Lucas here, Ms. Sawyer."

"_We_ don't both know that. Now I would appreciate it if you would leave." She said walking to the door and waiting for him to follow her.

"Ah ha." He knowlingly looked at her and she wanted to physically push him out the door. What was he trying to do here? "I guess I have my answer. It's always a pleasure Miss Sawyer. I'll let Nathan know you're thinking of him." With that he walked out the door, knowing he had his answer. Peyton wasn't in love Lucas, even if she wouldn't outwardly admit otherwise. She couldn't hide the twinkle and pain that flashed in her eyes when he had mentioned Nathan's name moments earlier. Nor could she hide the fact that she had kissed Nathan on the beach a few days earlier. Now it was time to continue to set things right for his son.

* * *

"That was weak, son." He said as he approached his blonde and brunette offspring only to see Lucas miss the net by two feet. "Better practice if you want the new team to learn anything from you."

Lucas turned to Nathan and rolled his eyes with a harsh expression on his face. "I was just leaving, Nate. Care to come?"

"Nah. I might as well see what he has to say this time. Maybe if he tells me, he won't feel compelled to offer Jamie more time with him without asking us first." Nathan said, with his own form of sarcasm and bitterness coming out. It didn't help Dan's case that he was already frustrated from his early encounter with Haley.

"Suit yourself." As Lucas walked away, Nathan turned to face the man he called a father.

"Yeah?" Nathan questioned his father for his reason for coming.

"I have something to give you, son." He reached into his back pocket and pulled the wallet that Nathan had given for his 28 birthday, when Nathan had just been a ten year boy who wanted to be like his father. Nathan of course recognized it, but it didn't change anything in the present.

Dan pulled the picture and handed it to the irritated young man, waiting for his response.

"Where did you get this?" he asked angrily. Was Dan following him? Did he have more? Sure it had only been a small good bye kiss, but a picture would have made it look really bad to those around him.

"I still live in the beach house, and you and Miss Sawyer are not so good as discretion apparently. That's not the point. I believe that you can be happy, Nathan. Happier than I was, but I don't think it is going to happen with Haley. Not when you and Peyton still have feelings for each other." He looked at out the river beside them, and back at the parking lot nearby to make sure that Lucas really had left earlier.

"And even if all that is true? What do you want me to do about it? I can't just walk up to Haley and say 'Oh hey, I am not in love with you anymore.' And what about Jamie?" He sighed as he stared down at the photo in his hands. A photo containing a woman that he thinks holds the moon, and he can't do anything to have her. Moments later he slams the basketball down before walking to the picnic table to sit down.

"Jamie will be happy if his parents are happy." He stated convincingly, firmly believing that with all of his heart. His parents weren't happy, he and Deb weren't happy. He just wants more for his son. "Nathan, I'm giving you an out. Maybe it's not the most courageous way to end a marriage, but it can get you out of a relationship you're not really in anymore. Just put it in you're wallet and let her find it. She'll get mad, jump to conclusions, and then all you have to do is say it's true. You won't have to watch her fall apart. By time she comes to you with the picture she'll be angry instead of crying. And it'll be easier. I'm leaving the choice up to you, son." He turned and walked back to his black car, hoping his son would learn from his mistakes. He had already turned out better than him, now he just wanted him to have everything he wanted. What parent didn't want that for their child?

Nathan stood there staring at the photo. Why would this be different than with Carrie? Haley already believes he slept with her. But he knows that's not true, she doesn't believe it, even it that's what she said. He also knows that she's not stupid enough to miss the slip of Peyton's name, probably the reason Haley is dwelling on the Carrie issue. The Peyton issue they are living with would shatter what they both know is already broken. Nathan doesn't know if he can forget about the blonde. He slides the photo into a hidden pocket of his wallet wishing he was a better man, still unsure of what he is going to do.

* * *

When Lucas returned home, Peyton was already in bed asleep. It was still a little early, but he had started thinking about Keith when Dan walked up. Instead of pondering on the wonderful man he lost in his life, he figured it would be easier to go to sleep. He could tell by the tears on the woman in front of him, that she too had been thinking of a man lost in her life. He hated that she had to go through this, but at least this would be the last parent left. No more would be coming out of the word work just to break her heart.

He laid down watched her as she slept, thankful for the turn the last two weeks had made in their relationship. He was on the verge of losing her, but she came back to him. She chose him. Time and time again, they would reunite. He couldn't deny that this was the woman who held his heart with a grip he couldn't describe. Despite the tear marks on her cheeks, she looked so peaceful in those moments when her subconscious was ruling her mind, and for that he was grateful. He knew how much the last month had affected not just them but her. It made her feel guilty, ashamed, and as much as he hated to admit it, conflicted. But as conflicted as she was, she came back to him. He kept telling himself that this meant something. He would ignore the sparkle that appeared when his brother entered the room, or the way his brother would avoid any contact with his blonde fiancé. It was easier that way, after all, she came back. How many times would he find himself saying that exact phrase? He wasn't sure, but he was willing to say it to make it all better in his mind, especially if it meant her lying beside him when he awakes each day.

Her eyes fluttered slightly before opening narrowly. "Hey" she pressed her lips to his gently. "What are you doing awake?"

"You just looked really peaceful. I love you." His voice was low, but he took every opportunity to say those three words to the woman lying beside him.

"I love you, too. Now, go back to sleep." She nestled herself into the crook of his neck before drifting back into her dreams.

Lucas, however, couldn't sleep. His mind was telling him she was his, she came back to him, his heart was telling him that he loved her with all of his heart, and his gut was telling him that happily ever after was about to come to an end.

He finally allowed himself to relax, his mind and his heart winning out over his gut. He wrapped his arms more tightly around Peyton's small frame before closing his eyes and drifting into sleep himself.

* * *

The next day, he walked into the newly renovated Clothes over Bros, or Brooke D. Designs as it was now called.

"Brooke, do you think we can talk?" he asked when he saw her peer her head over the counter.

"What is it, Luke?" She asked as he took a seat on the sofa in the middle of the store.

"Is this going to work, me and Peyton?" His voice portrayed all the doubt that had gathered since the moment he walked into his house the night Nathan declared his love for the same woman.

"What are you talking about? You and Peyton love each other. She's your comet, remember?" She tried to reassure him the best she knew how.

"That's not what I mean. Does she really love me, or is it him?" He looked at her searching for the knowledge that only a best friend would possess, but her eyes gave nothing away.

"Luke, I know she loves you." So maybe she wasn't being completely forthcoming with her knowledge of Peyton's feelings, but shattering Lucas' world wouldn't be the answer for anybody either. "And you love her. You have both wanted each other for so long. That doesn't just disappear because someone else throws their feelings into the mix. You guys lasted through me, I think that says something."

"You're a great friend, Brooke Davis. Thanks for telling me what I needed to hear." She wrapped her arms around him before going to back to her work behind the counter. She just hoped that these words wouldn't backfire on her one day. "So, the new store looks fantastic. Are you almost ready for the opening?"

"I am. The last set of dresses are being finished this week, and I've booked the caterers for next Tuesday. So that should be it." She was so confident when speaking about her designs.

"It is good to see you were able to move on from your mother. I'm proud of you Brooke." His blue eyes met her brown ones, and Brooke finally let herself feel the success of her accomplishments. Something about Lucas Scott's approval made her feel like she deserved the good things. She couldn't explain, she probably never would be able to.

"Thanks, that's means a lot." She said never breaking their eye contact.

"So how are you and Owen doing?" He wanted to change the subject. Eye contact with Brooke Davis had always been fairly intimidating. Maybe it was the amount of emotion she let out with her gaze, or maybe it was just their history catching up with him. But he loved Peyton, and anything Brooke's eyes told him would just make things messier than they already were.

"Good, for now. I don't know if we are going to get past the issue of children. He doesn't seem to have that fatherly instinct, and I really want to be a mom. Why are men so complicated?"

"We're not all that complicated Brooke. If Owen can't see how lucky he would be to be a part of your life as a mom, then he doesn't deserve you."

"Thanks, Luke." She continued her work before finally telling Lucas. "You should go now, I have to work on a certain wedding dress, one that you shouldn't see yet." He smirked thinking of his lovely blonde bride wearing white on the day that unites them forever. His gut was still, however, telling him to be weary.

"She loves you Luke. Now go." She said as she shooed him away with her hands.


End file.
